Om, says Steven Segal

Yesterday at 7 A.M. my alarm clock (a.k.a. Macon, the cat) awakened me. It was Saturday, and I had planned on sleeping in a tad longer. However, I decided that I needed to pack my day full of usefulness. I talked myself into, out of, and back into attending a 9 o'clock yoga class. If I'm moving to a town of 2 yoga instructors and no known studios I should at least have some basic knowledge of yoga. I arrived at the yoga studio with 2 minutes to spare, and I was looking forward to an hour of serenity and well-being.

The instructor helped the one other student and me set up. Sitar music lulled me into an "it' all good" mental state, and I had just accomplished some sense of balance with my Tree pose when a not too pleasant voice exploded the silence. "You DO know we're having an akido workshop here today, right? They did tell you!?" It was more of a demand than a question. My instructor's soothing voice stated that she, in fact, was not aware. Can we end the class? "We've actually had the studio since 9:30, so we can set up. It HAS been booked for three months." The tone of the man's voice made me want to punch him. The instructor's voice stayed calm as she inquired if we might work in a corner of the room to end our class. Mr. Akido would have none of it. "We have the WHOLE room booked. You'll have to leave." That was that. My inner being wanted to alter the Downward Dog into an I Fart in Your General Direction pose.

As there were only the three of us the instructor suggested we finish the class in the store front. Our poses were punctuated with akido conversations of the god, Steven Segal. Apparently, there was a film where he was reincarnated. I pictured the god Steven Segal as a variety of animals with many limbs. The thought of it made me giggle. At least there was some connection to yoga. I imagined even he would have wanted to strike Mr. Akido with one or more of his many limbs if he had been there. The thought of it brought me peace.

Namaste.