Self Awareness

I am not necessarily a "Pollyana" type, but I do (or did) believe most people have manners. That is now in question. Humans are competitive by nature. I understand that. I am very competitive and a bit of a control freak. I try to be self-aware. However, I am finding more and more that people are totally unaware of self. Or perhaps it's that they are hyper-aware of self. I observe self-absorbed stares on people's faces as they navigate a store. These are the people that will run into you and give you a dirty look for not moving. They are so hyper-aware of their wants that it eludes them that they were the rambling pinball that just tilted. They are the ones that cut you in line and offer no apology, because they really didn't see you (hyper-awares only see themselves). These are the people who say hurtful things and never apology because their words meet a need for themselves and how they affect others is not a concern. I think it has reached epidemic proportions. Americans have become obese and bloated by self-consumption.

Why am I ranting on this today? It's car inspection day for me. Yes, I did wait until the last minute, but life has been hectic and the trivial forgotten. I arrived at the inspection super store 25 minutes prior to the 9:00 time I was told to arrive by an attendant yesterday. At five minutes prior to 9:00 some gentleman arrived with speed. Then another - this one even pulling up to the bay. The first guy hopped out of his car, looked at me, and started looking for someone to take him. He knew I was waiting, but he honestly was expecting to go ahead of me. He made a beeline for the front door and I was instantly set in competition mode. Finally, one of the mechanics arrived. "Here for inspection?" he asked me and the first guy. We replied, "Yes." The first guy followed him and asked him something. Then he jumped back into his car and sped off just as fast as he had arrived. At nine I walked to the front door just to be told by the manager that the inspector would not arrive until 10:00. I was peeved not because the inspector wouldn't be there until 10:00 but because the mechanic nor the first guy said anything. Couldn't you pass on the message people? On the way back to my car I passed the message along to the other waiting people in an attempt to get some good karma in the air. I decided that I could either choose to be angry about a situation I could not control or I could turn that frown upside down with a scone and latte.

In the universe's continuous battle to create balance, when I returned to the inspection super store at 9:45 the manager informed me that because I had not left the premises that mine would be the first car inspected. Go good karma!

Go forth my friends and use your humanity for good and not evil. Or, at the very least, just don't be one of those hyper self-aware types.

Om, says Steven Segal

Yesterday at 7 A.M. my alarm clock (a.k.a. Macon, the cat) awakened me. It was Saturday, and I had planned on sleeping in a tad longer. However, I decided that I needed to pack my day full of usefulness. I talked myself into, out of, and back into attending a 9 o'clock yoga class. If I'm moving to a town of 2 yoga instructors and no known studios I should at least have some basic knowledge of yoga. I arrived at the yoga studio with 2 minutes to spare, and I was looking forward to an hour of serenity and well-being.

The instructor helped the one other student and me set up. Sitar music lulled me into an "it' all good" mental state, and I had just accomplished some sense of balance with my Tree pose when a not too pleasant voice exploded the silence. "You DO know we're having an akido workshop here today, right? They did tell you!?" It was more of a demand than a question. My instructor's soothing voice stated that she, in fact, was not aware. Can we end the class? "We've actually had the studio since 9:30, so we can set up. It HAS been booked for three months." The tone of the man's voice made me want to punch him. The instructor's voice stayed calm as she inquired if we might work in a corner of the room to end our class. Mr. Akido would have none of it. "We have the WHOLE room booked. You'll have to leave." That was that. My inner being wanted to alter the Downward Dog into an I Fart in Your General Direction pose.

As there were only the three of us the instructor suggested we finish the class in the store front. Our poses were punctuated with akido conversations of the god, Steven Segal. Apparently, there was a film where he was reincarnated. I pictured the god Steven Segal as a variety of animals with many limbs. The thought of it made me giggle. At least there was some connection to yoga. I imagined even he would have wanted to strike Mr. Akido with one or more of his many limbs if he had been there. The thought of it brought me peace.

Namaste.

That "tween" stage

I need to pack; that's a given. However, I find myself at that prepubescent "tween" stage of the move where I am totally unmotivated. Friends want me to come see their shows, meet them out-of-town, and, in general, just socialize. The tween is always ready to socialize. "Meet you for drinks? Of course!. I don't have anything on my plate right now." Meanwhile, the parental subconscious is reminding the tween that she has orphaned furniture to move into new homes and countless books to pack. The tween rebels by going out almost everyday and, when staying in, decides that she absolutely can watch a movie and pack at the same time. However, the tween really does not have the self-discipline to multi-task and winds up making appetizers to match the setting and characters of the flick. At some point the parental subconscious says, "Enough is enough, young lady!" and banishes the tween to her apartment - daring her to pick up the phone or reply to emails. The tween is officially punished.